Rules and Policies
1. Everyone has to be 18 or older. While we're against ID-based systems of checking age, we do need you to give us some kind of verification from social media that you are 18 or older (i.e. accounts with your age on it). It is recommended you give your exact age in your intro or verification, but if not, it has to be an age range more specific than "18+" (e.g. "25+"). You also have to be willing to give your exact age privately if a mod or the owner ask. This rule is about body age, not internal age. Syskids/age regressors/etc. can talk freely here.
2. In addition to being an adult, everyone also has to be mature. Take responsibility for yourself, including your headmates. Accept criticism gracefully. Don't have meltdowns in the server if you can possibly help it (and, if you can't help it, maybe learn better emotional self-regulation before being in a server like this). If you are breaking this rule in the server, I may politely call you out on it in the server.
3. This server is trying to be a reasonably pleasant environment. Be nice to each other. No harassment. No bigotry. Don't be a nuisance. Take responsibility. Seek support without making your trauma others' problem.
4. This server doesn't have a blacklist per se, but you're encouraged (and, by common decency, required) to spoiler heavy topics, NSFW topics, or overly negative talk if it comes up outside of designated spaces. While I understand you can have fictives of these things, this server also forbids positive discussion of JK Rowling's media or Nazis, real or fictional. With regards to the last of these, I know there are sometimes situations where a character can be mistaken for a Nazi, so if I criticize a character for being a Nazi but you think I'm mistaken, feel free to clarify in the server or in DMs, but I have the final say. This doesn't include excessively fictionalized fascists like Star Wars villains or the like. Please do not request that I extend this blacklist.
5. I don't want to have to ban people, but I may have to. If I had to ban someone, it would be for breaking rules in ways that contributed to an unsafe or unhealthy environment. You will receive warnings before being banned. Whether they are public or private depends on which is best for the situation that warrants the warning. You will get up to three warnings, but particularly egregious offenders, or people who repeat the same offenses, may be removed sooner than that.
6. Not everyone will necessarily pass verification. If you fail to answer any of the NECESSARY questions, do not have social media stating your age (even just "adult"), or won't be okay with the policies of the server, you will not gain entry. If I have issue with anything you've said during the verification process, if you set off any red flags, or if you raise any concerns in your application, I may ask you additional questions during the verification process to obtain clarity.
7. I do not want to have to add more rules, but I may as necessary. Don't be the reason I have to add a new rule or policy. The exception is that it is okay to request policies in the interest of accessibility or combatting bigotry.
I don't feel like I can fully ban venting or politics from this server, because I believe "venting" can be subjective, and so can "political". I also wouldn't want to FULLY ban those things, especially venting in a trauma-related server.
However, things like political doomposting, really heavy and nihilistic venting, public spiraling, making the people of the server take care of you, etc. are forbidden. This ties into Rule 3, but it warrants being spelled out.
There are multiple vent channels, so that people who don't like venting don't have to see it. If venting arises in other parts of the server, please spoiler it. You don't have to spoiler it or censor it quite as much in your personal channels, but be mindful of the server's expectations for mature conduct.
The roles you can opt into include some channels with comparatively light venting, as well as channels for venting about heavier topics, including trauma and adult topics. "Heavy vent", in the channel names, is not meant to suggest you should utilize those channels heavily or focus on heavy venting.
Please do not traumadump, i.e. relate gratuitous details of your trauma in an overly-emotional or excessively detailed way. You can seek support without going into too much detail or having too intense a tone.
Where it comes to servers like this, I don't think NSFW channels are necessarily necessary, but I also understand that sex, which is sometimes a trigger or inappropriate for the workplace, has a place in all adult spaces and discussions of trauma.
Therefore, this server has some channels dedicated to certain discussions of NSFW and adult topics (including substances), but this server isn't supposed to be heavily geared towards NSFW. Please keep NSFW images to a minimum (and keep it to art or selfies), and spoiler them in this server. NSFW text is fine in NSFW areas and if spoilered elsewhere.
Adult topics (e.g. sex, kink, substances) can be mentioned in all parts of the server if you censor anything you consider gratuitous.
Where it comes to kinks, this server operates on the principle of Your Kink Is Not My Kink And That's Okay. People who mention kink may mention being into kinks that you are not into. Please do not complain about kinks you dislike. Some valid criticisms are fine if they come up, but be mindful that this is meant to be a largely discourse-free environment, and to be nice to each other.
Due to purely legal concerns, please do not spend much if any time discussing fiction that depicts underage characters in sexual situations, especially and namely for gratification, or where their presence is intended as a kink. In other words, Lolita or A Clockwork Orange are fine, loli/shota art is not.
The same policy partly extends to discussions of real-life discussions of pedophilia or zoophilia. While some discussion due to personal trauma is inevitable and okay, please don't get too detailed, because I HAVE heard of people getting in trouble for getting too detailed about their CSA, and I just don't want to moderate certain things. I think you can explain the feelings or the effect on you without getting gratuitous. If I feel something is too detailed, I'll DM you about it. Otherwise, just use your best judgment.
This server's accessibility policies are based on the needs of the people who use it. If somebody joins this server and needs accommodations that the server does not already give them, they are encouraged to mention this in their application process or DM the owner about it.
Currently, this server has no particular acccessability policies, because nobody who is currently in the server has expressed need for them.
Sometimes, accessibility requests create conflicting needs. For example, I use flashing graphics as AAC tools and cannot give IDs for them when non-verbal. While I like to think I am able to come up with solutions that balance everyone's needs, that means adding accessibility features sometimes looks like a conversation between myself and the person who needs accessibility, not just me complying straightforwardly with a request.
However, I will never fully reject a request for accessibility unless it's something like introducing a blacklist so you don't have to see topics you find triggering but that are usually harmless.
Personal channels are a feature of this server. You can call yours anything and post anything you want. This includes talking about trauma, of any kind, but you are encouraged to talk about a variety of topics. You are also allowed to discuss adult topics and dark fiction in the user channels, which is why they are opt-in, but please be mindful of the tone of the server.
In the interest of keeping the server active and making sure no one feels left out, it's recommended you add some kind of comment or response to anything you see someone else post in their channel. If not, you can emoji-react to their posts. You could also post things in people's personal channels that remind you of them (e.g. if there's a user who likes axolotls, posting pics of axolotls in their channel for them to see).
It may be tempting to turn the channels into your personal VENT channels, but please do not do this. Talking about trauma is different from venting, because tone matters.
If you want to frequently talk about dark topics and trauma in your channel, you may, but if you foresee yourself doing this, I would prefer you request that I put some kind of content warning in the description of your channel.
If the personal channels become a problem, I may remove them. Please do not tempt or cause me to do this.
I prefer to handle most questions privately, because in order to answer them, I sometimes find myself having to explain my thought processes, and I dislike doing so in a semi-public space where I may not explain things right on the first try.
Please use the #owner-mod-ping channel to ping me (or, if applicable, a moderator) to DM me about the matter privately.
Depending on what it is, I may add a new policy or rule addressing whatever you brought up. This does NOT fit under "don't be the reason I have to add a new rule"; that's more in reference to when people cause problems and FORCE me to add new rules. New rules added as per private discussions are up to my own discretion.
This site has a "questions" section that, in addition to explaining some of the finer points of the server's policies for those curious, answers some questions that I can foresee being asked.
Questions that are asked privately are subject to being replicated on this page.